==BOSNIA HERCEGOVINA==

It is almost a year since the killings have stopped in my country. So little and so much at the same time. The wounds have not yet been healed, but at every step you can see an unrelenting wish for living. I share that wish and I am trying to be optimistic, but, as a damnation, the war is always here. The experiences from the war have a domination over all other things.

The Boy. --- As a boy I listened and learned a lot about the past wars, the most about the Second World War. Sometimes I even enjoyed watching the movies about the war. I had never thought that war would be part of my life. Later, as a student and as a young doctor, I watched, with interest, the news about the wars in the Near East, Africa, and the Gulf. Even at that time I had not conceived of their tragedy. It is strange that many, if not the majority of the people can not imagine what war means if they have not felt it on their own skin. It is maybe so because we always think that war is possible in any other place except ours.

The War. --- During one year of tension it could be felt that something terrible was in front of us. Then it exploded in our backyard. The war came with all equipment and with a bag full of its evils. In the beginning, the shooting and the shelling had been the most frightening. The sounds of the sirens froze blood in the veins of people, unaccustomed to the violence. However, I became accustomed to that. On many occasions, coldness, darkness, shortage of food and the feeling of captivity had fallen much harder.

The Friends. --- A lot of friends left. Some of them were killed. I do not have anything against those who left. That decision was their personal thing. It is disappointing that the majority of them have never tried to contact me. I am asking myself often, "Did I have wrong people for friends or is that just their wish or self-defending reaction to forget the hell which they shared with us for a short time. I hope that the last is true. In any case, they could write a letter sometimes.

The Visitors. --- In a war you can have really interesting visitors. At first, there are people who really want to help you, and you can feel that immediately. But, very soon, you become able to recognize some other people who come from some strange and mysteri- ous organisation. They usually ask many questions, and do not know much about the jobs they are officially sent for. In the end, there are the adventurers. You can recognize them usually by their aggressive image. They often finish tragically.

Television. --- I remember one photograph from some newspaper which I saw many years ago. There were three men in military uniforms watching TV in a half-destroyed house in Lebanon. For me that was an inconceivable activity in a destroyed and burned town. The shock with the broadcasting of the war in Kuwait and of the violence of the Rumani- an revolution came after. Then I could watch "live" the beginning of the war in my country, and even the beginning of the lights in my own town. And so one day after another, during four years, the war was in our lives, in our heads, and on our TV screens.

The Advice. --- The best way to survive the war and to stay normal is to do your job. The more, the better. During the war I worked hard, but I was happy because I chose medi- cine for my profession. All things I did, I did to help people. Often, those were the jobs, after which a man could only sit and cry, but the job helped me.

The Hope. --- I hope that this mixture of the personal experiences and the advice will not be necessary to anybody, but that is little possible. Because, now, when I am watching the news about the wars in Afghanistan, Tchetchnia or Zaire, I am asking myself what the children in Kabul, Grozny or in Central Africa will eat today, where they will sleep to- night, and how they will get warm. They are not as far from me, as were the children from the past wars.

I know that I did not write anything new. I also know that many could write this much better. But simply, I couldn't miss the opportunity to do this. I will be very satis- fied if, after reading these line, even one reader feels a need to fight against war, because war is possible always and anywhere, believe me.