==JAPAN: KM== [Family]

I hated my father for a long time. I resemble him completely, and everyone says I am a copy of him in appearance. And some people even said that 30 years after, I would be what he was completely in everything. But I really disliked to be told so, and I felt it was an insult to me. My father was an object of detestation for me; to be his son was my curse. I didn't regard him as my father and despised him very much, so I sought ways of revenge on him. I decided that after I graduate from university and I can earn my own living, I would abandon him. "For now, I will act a meek son, but it won't last forever. He should live his lonely old age," I thought.
There were many reasons why I hated my father. He was quick-tempered, selfish, and he easily beat and kicked me, because he wanted to have his own way in everything. Though I had not been such a bad child, I was often scolded and knocked about by him since I was a small child, so I was afraid of him, and I really had contempt for him. There was one more reason why I hated my father; it was my name "Taro", given me by my father "Taro" is a very simple name. Anyone naming a child could think of this name in one second. Of course, this simple name was made fun of by my friends. I really hated it, and I wondered whether my father had really thought my name over seriously. I asked him the reasons for naming me this, but he answered only "Taro is simple, manful, and easy to remember." I even wondered if perhaps my father thought of me as a dog. I seldom felt his love for me.
Last year, I entered Fukui Medical School, and started to live alone. My despising of my father had not changed at all, so I was very happy to live alone, because I didn't have to meet him except during my vacation! Of course, I seldom went home though it is possible to go there in only one hour by car.
But since I have lived by myself, my impression of my father has gradually changed. My mother often said my father wanted to meet me and he talked about me very often. When I had a traffic accident he came to my apartment in a hurry. When I went to my parents' home with my friend, he was very glad and treated us very warmly. I began to think that I was too young, so I had seen only his shortcomings and I was unable to estimate his love correctly. And I found similarities between us not only in appearance but also in character and in behavior. I am a talkative person, but he is more so than I. In fact, when I went to my parents' home with my friend he continued to talk until 1:OO am. One day when I committed a traffic violation and I had to pay 9,000 yen, my father said to me, "It is really wasteful to spend money for traffic violations," but one month later he got caught for a drunk driving, and he had to pay 40,000 yen. I won't blame him for it, but somehow it was very heartwarming for me. When I began to understand the similarities between us, one idea occurred to me. "My father and I have many similarities, so we may have the chance to understand each other deeply." I tried thinking calmly about my father and putting myself in his position.
Now I think that I was too young and immature, so I might have regarded almost all of his strict education as violence, and I took it for granted that what he said was meaningless, just a sign of his selfishness. He loved me in his own way (my simple name "Taro" is certainly easy to remember; surely no one forgets my name. And most people say good things about it). Not understanding my father was one of the reasons why I hated him. But I think my father was also immature as a parent. If he had taken more responsibility, I wouldn't have hated him so hard. But now he has had experience as a parent, and treats me as a grown-up man. And I also have somehow grown up, so we can understand and respect each other. It is necessary, because he is my only father.

COMMENT

*I was surprised that he was thinking just like me.

*I never thought that he had hated his name.' I hate my name "Tatsuno".

*He hated his father but I don't hate my father very much.

*l hate his character and my character, so I have pity on him.

*It is often said that out of temper, out of money.

*And I declare that to speak honesty is out of temper.

Shin-ichi Tatsuno