==JAPAN: KM== [Family]

Can you love a child who is not your own child? I guess most of you have not even thought about it. Well, I hadn't either before I experienced such a situation.
When I was a freshman in high school, I went to America as an exchange student. I wanted to see another country and experience something valuable. There were many things which surprised and interested me. Because America is composed of many different races, its culture and life-style has many different aspects. So I think it is quite natural that most American people are open-hearted to different things and people.
My host parents were an especially nice young couple. Michael, the host father, was a dentist and Frances, was 34 and I was 15 years old. Our ages were close, so they treated me not only as their own child but sometimes as a younger sister. Frances was thoughtful and warmhearted. When I got a good grade at school she praised me and when I had any trouble she listened attentively to what I felt and gave me good advice. I was very glad to stay with them and I got homesick only a few times.
Their two and a half year-old son, Nicholas, was and adopted child. He was born in Seoul, South Korea but his real mother sent him to an orphanage. I was shocked when I saw him and was told about these things. I was born and brought up in Japan, so I had never seen an adopted child. Of course, I had known there are adopted children but only in TV programs or novels. Asian people think much of blood, so few people adopt children and even if they do, they keep it secret. In reality, like this case, because Korean people don't adopt children, there is an agency which introduces Korean orphans to American families.
Michael and Frances were Caucasian, so it was obvious to everybody but Nicholas that they had no blood relation with him. Nicholas was too little to suspect why his appearance looks different from his parents. I was afraid how he would feel when he realized it. But, to my great surprise, Frances had already started telling him since he arrived in their house no matter if he could understand it or not. "You were born in Seoul, far from here. Your first mother gave birth to you, but she could not live with you for some unavoidable reason. You came to this home by airplane. Mom is your second mother but your mother forever." Sometimes she was telling him showing him some pictures which had taken in Seoul and papers which showed he was an adopted child. They celebrated the day Nicholas arrived as if it was another birthday for him. They called the day "airplane day" and Nicholas got a toy airplane. He looked so happy playing with the toy.
At first I had believed children must have been the happiest when they live with their real parents no matter what difficulties they have. I felt so sorry seeing Nicholas taking to Frances and Michael. But as time living with them went on and I felt how much they loved Nicholas, I gradually came to realize that blood is not the most important thing to consider. Even if the realities of life seem so hard, if there is love, there is nothing we can't face. If children are loved, their eyes are bright. And being loved, children know how to love others.
It was only about one year that I stayed with them. But more than I had expected, those days influenced me much and made me what I am now. Believe it or not, I had been shy and not so talkative until then. And if I hadn't met them I would not have wanted to be a doctor.
Frances sends me presents on my birthday even now and we write letters, too. When I reported to her on the phone that I decided to go to medical school she said only this, "You have to listen to how patients feel." This means, I believe, patients are like children who are afraid and need love.

COMMENT
Living in Japan for a long time, we are so accustomed to our life that we can't look at things objectively. This essay about an adopted child told me that I have been ignorant of and indifferent to such a situation. If I were in such a situation, surely I would be at a loss. In the same way, Japan has a lot of problems with other countries or races, and Japanese must fill the gap between many countries.
It is difficult to solve these problems, but we should take a full cognizance of the facts.

Yuko Kimura