==JAPAN: KM== [Fears]

Have you ever seen a ghost? Do you believe in the existence of ghosts? And if you have seen a ghost, were you surprised at its appearance? Did you cry? Did you get frightened? I had been afraid of ghosts and very nervous about even a subtle sound until I had two mysterious but fantastic experiences. These two incidents made me become intimate with ghosts, although I don't believe in their existence completely. I want to tell you about my strange and interesting experiences.
'Woo!! Help me!!'t I was awakened by a nightmare. I had a similar one on the previous night. Nightmare? I don't think so. It was so real that I couldn't consider it to be a dream. Many pale, ferocious men and women attacked me. With reproachful looks on their faces, they tried to strangle me.
It was when I started to live alone in Yokohama a few years ago that I had a strange experience. After I moved into my room, I suffered from something like nightmares for the first two nights. On the third night, I had another dream (I think it was true). Many ghosts walked in a row on my sleeping body and went out of my room through the window by which I slept. After having this dream, I never suffered from ghosts again. I thought that the ghosts decided to abandon their room because I had intruded their calm lives. I muttered to the window, "I'm sorry that I took the comfortable room from you, dear ghosts."
The other story is about my interesting dream. In this dream, I was dead but as first I didn't know that I was dead because I was very conscious. I saw my friends having a chat cheerfully beside me and I tried to enter their conversation. "I think....." But they ignored me and never even glanced at me. I tried to speak to them again loudly, "Hey, can't you hear me?!" But they continued their conversation without taking notice of me. Suddenly I realized that I was dead. I became very sad and cried out. "Hey, I'm here. Please notice me!" Then, one of them, whose name was Eri, said, "I heard Yubow's voice just now." (Yubow is my nickname.) I was glad to hear that. But another friend said to Eri, "It can't be true. Yubow is dead." "Yes, it may be only my imagination," Eri answered. And I was left alone with irritation and loneliness. Yes, in this dream, I was a ghost. Because I could realize the ghost's loneliness, I became sympathetic with them rather than afraid of them.
Now, my stories are finished, but I want to introduce one more story of another person's experience to make you intimate with ghosts. It is a story of a business man's experience. His office was on a high floor of a tall building. One day, after he finished his work, he waited for the elevator to go home. It came soon and was a little bit crowded. It was when he was about to take a step into the elevator that he found his old friend keeping him from getting into the elevator by moving his hand as if to say "stay out". Because he felt very strange, he decided to let it go and take the next one. In the next few seconds, the elevator fell down out of control and all the people in it died. Soon after, he called the friend's house but his wife said, "It can't be true. My husband died two weeks ago." He was very shocked to hear that and thanked his friend for warning him of the coming danger.
I think you can often hear stories like this. Ghosts sometimes help us. So why are we afraid of such dear spirits? I must say repeatedly that I don't believe in the existence of ghosts completely, but I do know that some mysterious things beyond our ability to understand exist for certain. And I think that the existence of ghosts makes our world more interesting because we can't predict when and where they will appear. Don't you think so, too? If you, by chance, see a lonely or solitary ghost, whether it is in your dream or in real life, please speak kindly to it. "Dear ghost...."

COMMENT This essay is a little strange. But it makes me remember the feeling "ghosts may exisit" which I had when I was a child. As I gre up, I gradually doubted that ghosts exist, because I have never had such mysterious experiences, so I can't bellieve the story completely. But now, I think ghosts truly exist. Speaking more correctly, I want ghosts to exist. I want to have a romantic experience like this. It is very marvelous that ghosts help us. I think ghosts are friendly rather than horrible. If you read this essay, you may share my feeling.

Akira HIOKI