==JAPAN: KM== [School Life]

"As usual, I've made the cutoff point at the female student." How many times had I heard this comment when professors returned test results? And it always relieved me a lot. This comment means, "As usual, this time I've passed those who have done as well as or better than the only female student in our class, and failed the others." In the university I went to before, there was only one female student among the 70 classmates, and this "only female" was none other than I.
The result of any examination is an issue that every student is worried or concerned about, but this is also annoying to professors when they have to decide the cutoff point. When they find one female student close to the cutoff point, without much consideration, they decide, "Okay, down to this female should pass." My best friends, who devoted themselves to more interesting things than studying like myself, had failed some of those 'obligatory' classes by just 1 or 2 points. These poor guys had to stay a few years longer for graduation. On the other hand, I myself, just because of being a female, who was not any better than these guys, could survive the classes and could complete all the necessary programs of this university in 4 years, even without any sexual harassment.
Of course, being the only female in the class also had some cost. For example, no one could answer or write the roll for me; no one could say "Here" instead of me during the attendance call, or no one could even enter my name in the attendance sheet, as that would be too obvious. Although, generally, only two thirds or at most three quarters of the students in my class attended lectures, all of them except me got full marks regarding "attendance."
On the occasions of parties or picnics with students of women's colleges, my classmates and their counterparts were being enthusiastic about finding a "new date", but I was there with the guys that I had already known and with "pretty and fancy girls" from a women's college, without any merit of meeting someone interesting for me. Besides, the party fee was usually much heavier on the "guys' side," so I had to pay \5000, while the girls from a women's college just paid \2000. Of course, I complained to my classmates about this unfairness at the first party. "I believe I'm a woman, so it's fair, don't you think, that I just pay \2000 like the other girls?" However, the reply was, "What are you talking about? Think how much you ate! If they pay \2000, you may as well pay more than \6000!" Oh well! Ever since I had agreed to this comment, which made complete sense, I always had to pay the guys' amount. Well, if you are inclined to do "human watching," there must be nothing more interesting than these kinds of party!
When there was a camp, the budget didn't allow me to have a room of my own, so I had to sleep in a room with a group of guys, annoyed by their loud snores. Before Christmas, I was always busy advising guys what Christmas gifts they should buy for their girlfriends. Although it was fun selecting those attractive gifts, I felt somewhat empty, for all of them would eventually go to other girls, not me! While I was in university, I had various other unpleasant experiences. However, these experiences were in fact very minor, and it was only after graduating and starting to work for a company that I recognized something more serious was there for me.
For 4 years, I had had only men around me on weekdays and had been so used to such a life that I felt a little uncomfortable in "a female atmosphere." I joined a company and was assigned to work in a group where there were only men, which was not a problem for me. However, on the same floor of about 100 people, there were about 20 women. I was nervous not merely when I was working together with other women, but also simply in the same environment with them. Why?
The way the women at the office associated with each other was different from that of guys. Guys usually didn't fake their intimacy, and I didn't have to chat with those guys I didn't like. However, the office women were always supposed to be friendly among themselves, whether they liked it or not. It was hard for me to behave like this, which was one of the reasons for my confusion. Now I'm not like that anymore, but still I feel comfortable in a space with only men; I don't have to care much about anything. However, if you don't care much about anything when you are with members of the opposite sex, it might lead to more embarrassing problems....
The other day, I had a party with some best friends from my university days; they are now having difficulty in handling women: their girlfriends, their wives, and their colleagues. While listening to them complaining, "Women think in different ways," "They are difficult," "I can't read what they have in their minds," "We should consider them as a different species," etc., I wondered what I was, as I was being treated as one of guys and also talking as if I were a guy. But I couldn't allow myself to think any further because I was too drunk, and we kept on helping one another to SAKE.


"Getting It Together"

To tell the truth, I have had some fear of English ever since I was a junior high school student, and I didn't like English composition. However, this time, writing an English essay was an assignment, and I found myself enjoying it, as I'm fond of writing an essay in Japanese. Of course it was very hard to write in English, and I struggled to express the nuances of my feelings and situations. Thanks to this experience, I had the opportunity to get rid of my fear and to take pleasure in English expression.