==USA==

Watching outside from the window, I am grasped byloneliness and emptiness, somehow. I oftenidle my time away like this and I lose my sense of time. I cannot hear any ticks and cannot feel the existence of time. I feel like I am in an ancient deserted place where there is no time, no soul, no atmosphere, no people, nothing but loneliness and emptiness.
Every time I look at the scenery that spreads outside from the limited window, my perception is different although the scenery does not change that much. I am never able to define the difference but I somehow perceive it.
Green weeds become depleted in color, and they tell me of the beginning of win- ter. Watching them without thinking about anything, I am soaked in loneliness and emptiness. However, I cannot help staring at them. Their old bodies are dancing in the wind very wearily and sadly. They seem to fail to have fun because of their weakness. Anyway, I witness their last dance, whichmakes my depression deeper.
Not only weeds but also all the green color is about to die. Leaves are flying like moths floating on the scent of death, and grasses are invaded by the power of winter. Their lives seem to be tipped out by irresistible destiny, and they go straight to death without any choice. However, at the same time, I can feel their satisfaction and hope in their dying world. They might know that they are going to be given a birth again. They might believe in the circle of the universe.
The scenery from the window in the middle of the night is filled with coolness and silence. I can see nothing. I cannot see weak weeds, I cannot see flying, dying leaves, and I cannot see the power of winter. All I can see is perfect darkness and the reflection of my tired room. The darkness produces the sound of silence, which dominates the world of music in the middle of the winter night, and makes my existence very tiny. The room in darkness is trying to form the shape of the room which it is supposed to be, but it never succeeds. The room is crying because he can never win the reality and he can never run away form the dark and flat world. However,he also sneers at my loneliness and emptiness, which gives me an oppressive sensation, and I can hear the king of darkness laughing at me, which deprives me of every sense and makes me numb.
Turning off the light, the world is occupied by darkness. I can still hear his laugh- ter. This is his world. There is nothing I can do. Darkness lets me stay and live in his world. That is all. Therefore, I can open my eyes after he goes to sleep. I can see shinging sunshine and morning glories. And I get up from the bed with heavy eyes and wash my drowsiness away.